Easter - A whole new perspective!

Christmas this year took on a whole new meaning for me. A homecoming for my husband from War and a birth of our own son. As Mark and I looked down at our newborn tiny son I thought about Jesus. I thought about how Mary felt . . .her first born. A son that God made in her without the help of any man and He was Mary's first! I thought about how she must have beemed up to Joseph as she held that tiny human! I thought about Joseph, what an amazing man to love and support a woman and boy, when he knew the child was not his in any way. However, Jesus wasn't Mary's either, was He? Born for a purpose, born to set us free, born for the cross and finally and most beautifully born to raise again!

I was at a woman's retreat 2 weekends ago and I prayed that the Lord would tell me something about Joshua and his future or just him now. You know like prophets prophesied over babies in the bible, I thought that would be really cool. Then I remembered the one Mary got about Jesus:
Luke 2:34-35 Then Simeon blessed them and said to Mary, his mother: “This child is destined to cause the falling and rising of many in Israel, and to be a sign that will be spoken against, so that the thoughts of many hearts will be revealed. And a sword will pierce your own soul too.” It was then that I realized perhaps the unknown wasn't such a bad idea. If I don't know that something about Joshua's future is going to crush me than I can love him to the fullest and not live in fear.

The weeks passed and I watched the Passion of Christ for Easter. This tradition goes back many years for me, about 13 actually. Not watching the one Mel Gibson made, obviously, but various Jesus movies in order to fully remind me how awesome He is and what amazing sacrifice He did for me and you! Ever since Mel made the Passion I watch that every Easter. Last night for the first time I understood why Mary was filling her hands full of rocks and watching her Son's broken and ravaged body trying to lay on the cross. Because she just wanted to hold Him, to tell Him it would be alright that she loved Him and whisper in His ears of her love while bandageing His wounds. But He wasn't hers, so all she could do was watch. God had to do it for He loves us so much that He went through all that to be with us, amazing, huh?

As a mom now I have a whole new respect for Mary. Sure she had her flaws, at one moment in the Gospels it is reported how she and Jesus' half brothers tried to get Him out of a crowd of people because He was talking crazy . . . But Jesus was her son and she walked with Him until the end and was there when He rose again! Mary, while flawed had a sword pierce her heart and I've never given her the respect she deserves. She like the disciples understood more about her Son when He came back.

So I cried before watching the Passion, but I cry even more now because I have my son. He was asleep in my arms as I watched and sobbed over the torture that Messiah went through for me and I prayed that Joshua would answer the door when he realized Jesus was knocking, that Joshua would live up to his name: God is my Salvation! I knew in that moment, that as much as Jesus wasn't Mary's, Joshua isn't mine, I have to give him back to the Lord . . .