Passengers on this Road Trip Part 2

Many times I've heard the saying "You can pick your friends but not your family." How true is that? They should also add "or your workmates." It is always interesting to me that no matter what your occupation or family location in life you can never distance yourself completely from people who would hurt you or just annoy the heck out of you.

I've even gone so far as to think that if I could hand pick my family, friends and workmates, life would be grand! Then I thought about the most perfect road trip I'd ever gone on and my only traveling companion was Tigger, my Staffordshire Bull Terrier. She didn't complain about wrong turns, she didn't complain about frequent stops, she didn't talk incessantly and when we walked 33 miles in two days, she just kept walking. It was a wonderful weekend but there were things missing. She didn't tell me funny stories, or cause me to expand my compassion or endurance level. She didn't challenge my understanding of the universe based on her viewpoints. The very fact that she just went along with me meant that I didn't have a chance of growing as a person.

People in my life who drive me nuts or hurt me are the first people I try to push away. Once successful I think, aww, those that remain are perfect but my tolerance level recedes and suddenly one of the in crowd is annoying, I withdraw and the cycle repeats! Now in case you start thinking that I warrant staying in an emotionally or physically abusive situation, I do not and I want to clear that up right now. However, those that are guilty of minor infractions are everyone because everyone is human and sooner or later they will disappoint and a road trip alone is no fun, and it is the same with life! So, deciding that we don't want to walk through life alone what to do about those in our life who are like sand between our toes?

A friend once explained to me that those people in your life who cause discomfort are the very ones that God is using to make you more like Jesus. For a long while I thought that was nonsense! However, I thought I would take a look at Jesus workmates and family to see if He had anybody that if I were Him(you know, able to know everything) I would have said, "Yeah, this isn't going to work out . . " and walked on by. Jesus knows the hearts of all men so He knew all of his constituents before hand and fully, better than they themselves. So who did He pick for His road trip?

The first obvious oversight was Judas, that is a no brainer, the guy that was going to betray me to death, with a kiss no less! I would have walked right by him.

Secondly, there would have been the power hungry Zebedee brothers and their mother who asked for the best seat in the new kingdom, seriously, Jesus is going to get crucified soon and she is worried about seating! I would have kept walking.

Thirdly, Mary, His dearest mother, if she had pushed me into making wine before my time, I would have said, "Do you know who I am, God's son, the only one? You can't push me around . . ." And poof my Mom would be outta here! But He didn't in all the above cases He loved them and honored His earthly mother!

I kept going through each disciple and I came up with at least one reason for each, Peter would deny me, John is too clingy and so on and so forth. How much lonelier would the Lord have been if He had gotten rid of all those that hurt Him or annoyed Him. But Jesus used all of them. Mary's wine demand to start His public ministry, Peter to start His church, John to give us His mother and even Judas to consummate the Passover. And just like He used all of them in His life so it is with ours!

Those people that rub us wrong or hurt our feelings or pride(we all have that in abundance some call it honor) can make us better if we give the situation to God to redeem it and love anyway. I've actually had people that I hated and when I started praying for them and trying to run to God with He not only redeemed the situation but I became friends with the people.

We love to think that we are the best person on this road trip! The victims of heartache and pain by horrible people but how can we say that when we are all sinners. I once heard a pastor who I don't remember the name of say, "We are like thieves, found guilty and sent to a prison of thieves. On our first night in someone steals our favorite book and we say, you horrible thief you stole from me!" I died laughing to hear that! Yes, we are all passengers on equal footing. There is not first class on this ride!

So we can't pick who we ride with, how do we cope in love with these people? Go to our knees and stay there. Distance ourselves when we have to in order to deal with our own hearts because you can't change other people or give them rules on how they can interact with you, you have to deal with your own issues and heart! Think of ourselves like St. Paul did - the greatest sinner and the lowliest person. Jesus washed the feet of his disciples, WASHED THEM! The God of the universe, WASHED the feet of His less than perfect, hurtful and at times annoying passengers on His ride! So how can we not?

What I have learned is if someone hurts me, annoys me or makes me angry I should go to my knees! Tell the Lord how hurt I am and never lash back, in rage at being wrongly accused and baggage being dumped on me. I have lashed out and lost loved ones as a result. Is that the answer? I don't think so, should I be walked on? No, but I should respond in Christ and in love not out of wounded pride and bent noses! So I pray for the situation and the person. Everything about the person, family, finances and walk with the Lord, worklife and happiness. Everything I hope people are praying for me and my heart starts to change! Suddenly, I have so much love for that person because God is giving me that love and they don't seem so hurtful or annoying - they are God's child too and I want them to enjoy this ride too! Who knows, I might even loan them my iPod for part of the journey!

++Note: If a relationship(blood or friendship) is riddled with rules, regulations, manipulations and essentially a emotionally abusive or physically abusive one it is not the kind of hurts or annoyances I am talking about here - NOT at ALL! In those cases, I myself go in full retreat but maintain praying for them.