Mountains do Move

I found myself taking a tour of the house for the 100th time that night. Not sleeping due to fear that someone would try to come in the house and take my most precious treasure. Knowing that I am only a woman, a woman and mother who finds herself alone alot, I am afraid. I cry out to the Lord for comfort, for peace. I fight against the fear with every fiber of my being because I was in the dog free zone, there was no way I could get a dog.

I read verses that deal with fear. Especially the, do not fear man, they can only kill your body. But it wasn't my body I was scared for, it was my precious precious treasure!

After a full 1.5 weeks of sleepless touring with a steel bat I asked my husband for a waiver to the dogfree zone. If I could please have a security gaurd of the fur type. As suspected, he was not happy. The heated discussion that followed was one for Mark and I's history book. At the end of the conversation I said,

"Mark, I love you and I have nothing else to say on the matter so I am going to bed now." Again we were talking out serious things on the phone because again he was gone. I went to bed crying out to the Lord, God, why am I scared? Why do I need a dog? Why can't my husband come home and be my body gaurd? I was sobbing into my pillow, crying out for God to do something to make this situation at all better! When I felt Him say,

"Do what Mark asked." What?? He asked me to find about getting a security system installed, he asked me to talk to someone about my fear issues to see if they can help me! In other words, get a big computer to do your safety and see if someone can help you with this craziness! I was so angry for a moment I couldn't speak, God was asking me to do what Mark asked and everything in me was sick of going the long way around when I knew what could help. But fine, God makes me take the long way around on everything, why would this be any different? My rage passed as I calmly found out the prices of security systems, my anger at being misunderstood and over believed in traded itself in for sympathy for my husband. Somehow, a man who has no use for dogs got tied to a woman who had a million uses for them. At the end of all the phone calls, getting an appointment to talk to someone, finding out the cost of the leading security systems and a lot of praying later, I saw my husband's point of view. I felt his pain at being unable to protect me but not wanting to have to himself or with a dog. Him wanting me to feel so strong and realizing that might not happen. I was crying for him, my sweet husband by the time we spoke on the phone the next night.

I told him I had done exactly what he suggested. I got an appointment to talk to someone and I told him the price of the security systems. I told him that the cheapest was a Cane Corso and laughed. I wanted him to make light with me. I wanted him to know that I choose him, that I always choose him! He is so wonderful, a wonderful provider, husband, father, a wonderful man and leader. I will follow him where ever and with my whole being I needed him to know that, I would always do all that he asked.

We chatted on for a little bit when we were about to get off the phone I asked him,
"Honey, which security system can I go with?" He said,
"Why don't you put a deposit on that puppy and when I get home will pick him up." I froze, did he really say that or was it my inside voice wishing he would.
"Mark, are you teasing?" I started laughing and crying and instantly the universe lifted from my shoulders.

God would continue to protect me like He always has, my gardian angel and my son's would continue to protect us but now I would have the tangible fur I needed to sleep. I would hear Zeus' breathing and know that everything is going to be alright because that big brute was going to have my back and most importantly my son's! It is amazing that while God was softening my heart toward my husband's side of this conflict, He was softening my husband's.

You would think that my husband's homecoming might be overshadowed by the homecoming of our sweet bodygaurd. Let me be clear, to quote a prez, that is most assuredly not the case. Again, I am waiting, breath abated for the return of my sweet hero, my gorgeous husband, best friend and wonderful lover! God showed me that I must trust Him above all and He will move my mountains.

Mark and I are striving together for a better future for our son, one where daddy is home every night and God maintains our holding pattern. This event reminded me that God is going to move the mountain of my husband's perpetual absence too, I just have to wait and do everything He says!