Mother Theresa does it again . . .

Recently, I was attending a Bible study at my church and one of our lessons was about talents. I was unprepared for my reaction to this topic. I was angry! I was also unprepared for God’s response to my prayers.

As it has been awhile since I have written, let me give you a little back story. As a result of our move to be together as a family I lost my dog and my country house. I ended up pet-less and in an apartment in the city. I left my friends and Joshua’s friends, I left my church and my mommies group. Since that day, November 14, 2010, I have learned several things.

1) My suffering is a gift I can give to Jesus. I can offer it to the Lord on behalf of others in prayer! This fantastic teaching is Catholic and I love God for it. I feel so much less helpless with my suffering and the suffering of fellow Christians when I know that it can be used for good.

2) Suffering is necessary. Acts 14:19-28 states clearly, “It is necessary for us to undergo many hardships to enter the Kingdom of God.”

3) I was hurting without fur in my dog-less state. It was so lonely and I was broken. Broken after 4 years apart from my husband and now having to live together. Broken after losing Tigger and now being dog-less again. Broken and unable to get pregnant and sick most of the time. Through the Holy Spirit, I met a dear woman in my bible study who taught me that I could offer up those fur-less moments. As I started getting angry towards my husband(the reason we are in the pet-free zone, an idea I came up with, as he is not a dog person) I started praying for Mark every single time I wanted fur. That amounted to a lot of prayer in one day for the head and bread winner of our family. I then started praying for those I knew wanted a baby every time my cycle came and went and my tears flowed at the lack of pregnancy and so on. God used the fur-less moments to further my understanding of point 1.

4) Jesus calls us to give Him everything. It doesn’t matter what our talents are so I don’t need to expend loads of energy figuring them out. I am supposed to use my whole being to bring Him glory and that brings me full circle to how Mother Theresa once again played prayerful intercessor in my marriage and family life.

I have a team of saints who I ask for prayer. St. Monica, Blessed Mother Theresa, Mother Mary and St. Daniel(my patron saint). After I ask them for prayer I run to the feet of Jesus Himself. I commence telling Him everything and then after exhausting myself I say, but Your will be done. On the day of the Bible study I kept asking for help because I didn’t know what my talents were and I was so angry about it. I had been very good at computers but not anymore. I had thought I was really good at training dogs but not anymore. I had thought I was a good mother but the older Joshua got the more complicated it seemed to be becoming so I didn’t think I was good at that anymore either. I kept coming to Jesus and Mother Mary to help me be a mom but no longer had any confidence in myself for that either. As far as I could tell, I was good at nothing. Or maybe I was that chap with one talent and I had buried it except I lost where I had put it! I sat silent through the bible study, so much so that others noticed. I asked them for prayer because I was so upset about it.

After the bible study I went to the gym to go for a run. All good prayer for me happens on a run. So I cried out to my team and to Jesus, praying for help with this talent thing. I didn’t know who I was anymore or what I had to give Jesus anymore.

Suddenly, in a girl voice I heard,
“You are His spouse and mother.” And suddenly the verse about doing anything to the least of these people means doing it for my Jesus! And finally, I was informed that all I am should belong to Jesus so delineating my talents is unimportant to the Lord.

I stepped off of the treadmill a different woman again. I thank God for all the work He is doing in me and pray for His continued work; there is so much more of me that needs to be more like Jesus.